Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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