it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
