oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
