$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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