how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
