Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
