I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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