i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
