I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
