Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
