so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
