I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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