you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
