I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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