i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
