I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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