Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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