I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
