"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
