Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
