She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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