my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
