doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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