508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
