i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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