Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Come see our sink grown plant.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You need Xanax blowdarts
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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