Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
