How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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