im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
