I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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