I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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