Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
