apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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