Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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