piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize