He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
