I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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