Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
