i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
