i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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