he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
