her vagina looked like bernie madoff
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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