Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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