I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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