somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
