you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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