I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
