you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
