Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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