I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
