It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
