shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
