He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
