I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think my vagina is haunted
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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