Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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