Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
