just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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