Having a random hookup so left but love u
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
