It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
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