wakey wakey hands off snakey
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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